There’s something about always thinking you’re second rate. Never as good. The thought eats you from the inside and takes over every decision. You always think there’s someone better then you. You would think the right thing to do would be to channel the feeling into pushing yourself to be better then before. However no matter how hard you try it’s never enough.
It tells me this won’t work. It tells me not to try. It shapes my decisions and my actions. Some people think I’m the strong guy, the most level headed guy. I’m actually just running from myself. Trying to distance myself further and further from my thoughts but never getting anywhere.
I don’t think I will ever lose this feeling. I don’t know if I want to now.