I’m left with distant memories that flash before me at irregular times. The confusion is gone. The brain has moved on. Trying so endlessly to fill this void with some new idea or some new story. In the mind I look forward. In the heart I look back. Together I stay in the present. Neither wanting the past or future. Only wanting now. In the present all options are available. In the future they are not. To move forward is to add distance.

I look at my future and I don’t see it. I look to my past and I don’t see it. I look at the present and I don’t see it there either.

What is it I want so much? What is it I am searching for? What answers am I looking for?

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