We all have limits. There’s just some things we can not do. For some those limits could be physical like not being able to walk a mile. For some those could be mental like not being able to adapt in a crowded environment. Everyone has limits. We try our best to push our boundaries but they are still there. Sometimes we do widen our area of influence but mostly when we are younger. It seems like the older you get the more your limits don’t get challenged as much.
My biggest insecurity in life is my physical well being. I have never really taken care of myself. I have always taken care of others. I think in part it is so I didn’t have to challenge myself. It’s easier for me to care of someone then it is to put in effort into making me better. I push my limits mentally and emotionally all the time wether I want to or not. Sometimes I’m forced to deal with emotions that are without my limits which further strengthens myself. However I never do the hard work. I never take the walk. I never try the push up. I never do a jumping jack. I spend my whole life using mental and emotional strengths of mine while depressed and burdened about my current state of physical condition.
Not anymore. I have nothing to myself anymore. I’m not saying I don’t have positive people around but I have nothing of mine. I only have me now. No one is going to take care of me. No one is going to worry about me late at night. No one except me. So with that I have started a diet. I don’t really like that word because I in no way am eating healthy but I am recognizing every bite I put in my body. I am recognizing how much I consume compared to activity level. I am recognizing that I want change. Every day i look in the mirror and I see a little more of the person I want to be. I see a little more of me.
This road will be difficult and painful. It’s not going to be easy. However this road will only be pain on the surface not the pain deep inside that I’m use to dealing with. I’m excited for this next step. I look forward to pushing my limits and making new goals. I’m anticipating a renewed love of myself for being just a little bit more of a better person inside and out.